Ok, I am officially a new parent...all the feelings of inadequacy that accompany parenthood continue to wash over me. What in the world was God thinking when He called us to this? I make so many mistakes as I parent my children. I don't want to already begin that with Alexandra...oops, too late! We are in the testing phase full throtle! You know the one, where you say 'NO', your child looks at you, smiles and then does the exact thing anyway. How many times in one day can that occur? I think Alex was going for a record today. Oh to be firm and loving at the same time you are winning the trust and bond of your child can feel like a balancing act on a high wire with no balancing pole.
I praise God for His Word He gave me tonight though...."Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God." I get it, it won't be me that "figures" it out and has the answers. He will replace my inadequacies with His adequacies. Just as I am not adequate to be called His child without coming to Him through His Son, I am not adequate to do His work, without it being through His Son Jesus Christ. Oh how I praise Him for breathing life into His children though His Word. I so needed that tonight.
Alex did go to sleep well again tonight even after having to get 3 shots for the US Embassy...they made her have a flu shot and a pnemonia vaccine as well as Hep A. Hello, it is summer in the US, why the flu shot and pnemonia vaccine? Apparently that just became the rule a week ago. Go figure. It cost us $100 just for the vaccines. Crazy, but what do you do?
Tomorrow we go to the Embassy and submit about a ream of documents for them to autenticate so that we can then begin getting Alex's visa so we can come home. I am praying they authenticate quickly, the Consulate goes smoothly, and we gain favor with American Airlines and can come home early! We are all ready to all be there.
On a funny note, we have gotten the webcams to hook up so we can call back and forth with the boys. I love it so I can see the boys and of course Alex likes seeing them too. Not so sure about Becca, she still is loving girl land here without any boys. Alex kisses Daddy over the screen and continually asks for Petey to be held up to the webcam so that she can pet the screen. It is quite funny! I think it is helping her to realize they have not left for good and they are still very much her family. (As a bonus, she knows they are no longer on the airplane. For 2 days if you asked her anything about Papa or Lake or Luke she said they were still on the airplane. No, that is not a typo, she calls Drake Lake.)
Well I am off to bed, knowing tomorrow will be full of new challenges, but walking in confidence that God will make me adequate in Him!
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I can only imagine what it must be like to try and parent Alexandra right now. I think about our 4 year old neighbor and how hard it is for us to correct him or even communicate with him sometimes because of the language barrier. We only have to do this in spurts of time, you have have to do this 24 hours a day. I will be praying for you.
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